Crazy Romance in FF8
by fantasymei-aqua
Summary: Updated! Squall is suspected to be dead. But Squall appears making everyone thinks he's a ghost at first then thinks he's a fake.*Note: Crazy pairings but no yaoi*
1. Chocobo Time

Disclaimer: Don't own Final Fantasy 8. It belongs to Squaresoft.

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Chocobo Time

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Setting: Chocobo's Forest

Characters: Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Irvine, Seifer, Fujin, Raijin, Ellone, Chocoboy, and Ann

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Ann: Hi there! I'm gonna be your guide here. My job is to help you understand this story if you can't. And no! The author's real name isn't Ann.

Seifer: Shut up! You're just an extra!

Ann: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Let's start the story.

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Irvine: Remind me again why we're here.

Squall: We're here because you asked us to come. I can't believe you forgot.

Rinoa: Yeah! You even kneeled down in front of us and started begging.

Selphie: You were so cute!

Chocoboy: Welcome to Chocobo's Forest. Only I forgot if this is the Intermediate Chocobo's Forest.

Seifer: Who cares!

Chocoboy: The baby chocobos or chicobos will be frightened if you all come in, so…

Squall: I know, I know. We'll talk about that first.

Everyone formed a circle and started talking while the boy waited. After five minutes…

Squall: You go and hide first while I catch us some chocobos.

Irvine and the others nodded and hid themselves.

Ann: You're supposed to go out!

Seifer: Shut up! Damn extra!

Ann: Fine!

Squall: So, what am I supposed to do?

Chocoboy: Simple! Let me explain the rules. You have to …Blah blah…blah blah…

Squall: Snores

Chocoboy: That's all. Pretty simple isn't it?

Squall: wakes up Yeah, whatever.

Chocoboy: Here's your whistle. You have to buy a new one if it's stolen. So be careful.

Squall: Who cares.

Squall uses the ChocoZiner by mistake and a chicobo appeared and stole his whistle.

Squall: Give me back my whistle! Grabs the chicobo by the neck and starts choking it

The whistle fell down to the ground.

Squall: Give it back to me! Continues choking the chicobo

Chocoboy: Stop or you'll kill it!

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, BANG! BANG! Two bullets hit the chicobo at the neck and it died.

Squall: I said give me back my whistle!!! Still choking the dead chicobo

Rinoa and the others came out from their hiding places after seeing what was happening.

Rinoa: Squall! Stop it now! The chicobo's already dead.

Squall: It is? Aaaahhhh! Don't die yet! You haven't returned my whistle! LIVE! LIVE!

Squall banged the chicobo's head on the ground again and again.

Squall: LIVE! LIVE!

Squall opened the chicobo's beak and started to do… you know.

Ann: Sorry! But the characters here are a bit um- different from their normal selves. looks at Squall Eww! Gross!

Quistis: Squall! You didn't kill the chicobo! Irvine killed it. 

Irvine: HAHAHAHAHA! Kill the birds! Kill all the birds!

Everyone stared at Irvine.

Irvine: I mean, it was killed by accident.

Squall: So I didn't kill it.

Raijin and Fujin: NO!

Selphie: By the way, here's the whistle, the chicobo must've dropped it.

Squall: Thanks! throws the chicobo away

Chocoboy: Poor chicobo. Oh well, who cares! Let's start all over again. Everyone, please go out except for Squall.

Squall: What do you want to do? You must be gay! Admit it!

Chocoboy: What are you talking about? You're here to catch a chocobo right?

Squall: Oh yeah! I forgot! But you're still a gay!

Chocoboy: If I'm gay, then I should be called Chocogay.

Squall: Makes sense! All right! Go back and hide. Shoo!

Seifer and the others hid themselves again.

This time, Squall did it properly, and three chicobos appeared. But before Squall was able to go near them…

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Chicobo 1: Kweehh! Kweehh! Kweeh!

Translation: Alleluia! No, I mean, farewell my dear fans! falls down and dies

Chicobo 2: KWEEHH! Kweehh! Kweh! Kweeh!

Translation: LONG LIVE THE CHICOBOS! *singing* Oh yeah! All right! I'm gonna die! also dies

Chicobo 3: Kweehhh! Kweeh! KWEEHH! Kweh! Kweehh!

Translation: Mama! I'm going to heaven now! PLEASE DIE SOON! Lalalalalalalalala! Dies

Ann: What weird chicobos! The last one was too disrespectful!

Irvine jumps out from the bushes.

Irvine: Hahahahaha! Die birdies! Die!

Squall stared at the dead chicobos.

Squall: The chicobos are already dead and I'm getting hungry!

Squall took out his match and gathered some firewood. He made a fire and started cooking the three chicobos. 

Squall: Yummy! Barbecued chicobos! Come out everyone and have some!

Rinoa, Selphie, Seifer, Irvine, Raijin, Fujin, Quistis, Zell, Ellone, Chocoboy: o_o 

Ann: You must be kidding! There are still feathers! Who would wanna eat them?! 

Squall: I do! 

Squall bit the barbequed chicobo. Then he spitted it out! 

Squall: Yuck! This is horrible! 

Ann: Told you it wouldn't taste good.

Squall: I need gravy! Does anybody have one?

Everyone shook his or her head.

Squall: Rats!

Squall threw the three chicobos away.

Squall: That's it! I've had it! I'm tired of catching a chocobo! Let's go home. 

Chocoboy: No! Wait! I can catch one for you easily! Just pay me 3500 gil.

Squall: No way! I know what you're gonna do. Stand aside. HERE CHOCO, CHOCO! PLEASE COME OUT! PLEASE!

A chocobo came out, and it was a big one too. After it saw four chicobos dead, it went near Squall and ate him up.

Irvine: Damn! No more bullets! Wait! There's a few in my pocket!

Rinoa: No Irvine! Don't!

But it was too late; Irvine shot the chocobo until it was dead.

Rinoa: No! Squall! He's dead! Oh well! Who cares about him anyway? Seifer! I love you! Can we go steady again?

Seifer: Sure! Okay!

Rinoa: Whoo-hoo!

Selphie: Aaahh!

Quistis: What's wrong?

Selphie: L-look!

Squall was standing on top of the dead chocobo with blood all over him!

Everyone: Aaaahhhh! It's a ghost!

Author's Note: My very first attempt in humor and my second fanfic. Please tell me what you think about it. Please check out my FF9 fanfic too if you have the time! Thanks! 


	2. Council of Mischief

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 8 belongs to Squaresoft.

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Council of Mischief

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Characters: Edea, Cid, Martine, Laguna, Ward, Kiros, and General Caraway

Setting: Some weird secret place

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Cid: Okay, whose idea was it to let the chocobo eat Squall up?

Laguna: Me! Why? Any problems?

Cid: We're doing this to punish them, not to hurt them.

Kiros: So? What's the difference?

Edea: Stop arguing!

Martine: Let's have Irvine eaten by a moogle next.

Edea: Whatever! Now stop fighting!

General Caraway: Of all the places, why a chocobo forest?

Cid, Laguna, and Kiros: So nobody can see what happened.

General Caraway: How about the Chocoboy.

Edea: He'll forget everything about it after they leave. I'll cast a spell on him.

Ward: ………

Cid: Edea, why did you let the chocobo eat Squall up?

Edea: I thought it would be pretty amusing.

Cid: sighs

Laguna: Okay! We need a name for our group. What do want it to be called?

Kiros: How about Hidden Anger?

Cid: No way! Adult Club is much better!

Ward: ……

General Caraway: Military World?

Laguna: No! How about you, Edea?

Edea: I think we should make our name seem like it's a club for teenagers.

Laguna: I agree! That way, nobody will know that it's a group of adults.

Edea: We'll call ourselves 'Council of Mischief'.

Laguna, Ward, Kiros, Cid, Martine, and General Caraway: Great!

Cid: With your powers, Edea, we can teach those kids a lesson.

Laguna, Ward, Kiros, Martine, Edea, and General Caraway: Right!

Kiros: Now that we have a name for our committee, let's start punishing those youngsters again.

Author's Note: Please review! Thanks to anybody who reads this! I know this isn't really that funny but I'll try to improve it. This doesn't seem to be as good as my FF9 fanfic. Oh well, I'll just try to improve it. By the way, my FF9 story is 'Stole'. ^_^ 


	3. Squall: Real or Fake?

Disclaimer: FF8 belongs to Squareoft 

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Squall: Real or Fake?

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Characters: Same from chapter one except Chocoboy seems to be missing.

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Squall walked towards Selphie and the others. Everybody, including Chocoboy, hid himself or herself. Only Ann didn't go into hiding.

Squall: What's wrong with everyone? It's like they've seen a ghost!

Ann: There is a ghost!

Squall: What? Where? Wait a minute, did you just say ghost? Mommy, there's a ghost here and I'm scared.

Ann: You don't have a mom, you're an orphan.

Squall: I am? Must have forgotten about that, this proves that using GFs can be hazardous to our health.

Ann: Are you here for a commercial? Then you must be at the wrong place. Please go away and let us have the real Squall back.

Squall: I am the real Squall!

Ann: Lies! The real Squall is dead!

Squall: I'm dead?

Ann: The real Squall! Not you! You just look like the real Squall that's why they thought you were a ghost.

Squall: Me? I'm a ghost?

Ann: Not you! For Pete's sake, will everybody please come out and tell him what happened! Tell him who the real Squall is!

Everybody comes out from his or her hiding places.

Selphie: It's true! Sqaull's dead! Irvine shot the big chocobo that ate him up!

Squall: *sighs* See the blood stains? See the bullets in my hands? These are the proofs that I'm the real Squall! The Squall that was eaten up by the chocobo! 

Quistis: That's not true! The real Squall's dead as we all know it. You just stained yourself with blood and took some bullets to make it look like you're the real Squall who survived. 

Zell: That's right!

Rinoa doesn't listen. She's too busy hugging her Seifer. Seifer, on the other hand, is too busy cleaning his shoes.

Ellone: Stop this foolishness at once! 

Raijin: Who do you think you are ordering us around like that? 

Ellone: I'm the president of the world!

Everyone stares at Ellone except for Seifer and Rinoa.

Ellone: Just kidding! I'm Ellone, older than most or all of you.

Fujin: IGNORE!

Irvine: Bad Fujin! Listen to Ellone!

Fujin: WHAT?

Irvine: Nothing!

Selphie: This is not foolishness! We're trying to pretend that this Squall isn't the real one.

Everybody stares at Selphie except Seifer and Rinoa.

Selphie: Uh- oops?

Irvine: Good going Selphie!

Zell: Yeah! This will make imposter Squall think we know he's real!

Raijin: Good work!

Squall: So this is all just a set-up! 

Quistis: That's right! We knew you were Squall all the time.

Selphie: Now we know the truth, let's go home and PAH-TAY!

Squall: Yeah!

As Squall was leaving, Selphie and the others except for the usual nodded and beat Squall up.

Squall: What did you do that for?! 

Selphie: You're not the real Squall! No way! In fact, I think you're just a stranger trying to get some attention! 

Fujin: AFFIRMATIVE!

Squall: *****groans*** **What can I do to make you guys believe me?

Quistis: Absolutely nothing!

Seifer and Rinoa still do not listen.

Irvine: You know, I would really like to shoot them to get their attention!

Squall: Good idea!

Irvine aims his shotgun at Seifer and Rinoa. He pulls the trigger but he missed! He does it two more times but still missed. He tries to do it again but finds out that he doesn't have any more bullets.

Author's Note: Thanks to those two who reviwed! I appreciated it!


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